Late Night Thoughts

It has been a while since I express myself (negative self fml) here. I always told myself not to because I don't wanna go back to who I used to be. A pathetic pessimist.

But right now, just let me be a lil of who I was.

They said if you truly love someone, you gotta trust them.

What if trusting them were just a hallucination for ourselves? 

Do we really buy all those things they said? 

Do we keep hypnotizing ourselves that they don't lie to us?

The elders told me 

"No matter how loving you both are, don't drown yourself in it. 

Keep your head clear and don't be stupid."

But you know it's so hard, so hard not to be drunk in love.

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They said if you truly love someone, you don't care about their past.

People don't dig out their past to reveal if they weren't requested to.

The point is, are you ready to listen about your beloved's past? 

What if you think you can but they are actually eating you up bit by bit everyday?

Do you not truly love them then because you actually care about those past?

Do you love them less after knowing their past?

I've always reminding myself

"We all have bad/crazy/wild past. 

What's important is that together, we have a future."

But you know you will still be silly enough to care about it 

and even though you were never part of it.

OMG Do I sounded like I'm having a very bad relationship?! wtf 

In fact, Alan and I have been doing very good. 

I was probably just reflecting our pasts. It was horrible, to me. I am always being afraid and worrying too many things including the nonsense that made me breakdown. Then Alan plays the role of carrying my burdens, still remained calm and cheer me up. lol Damn sanfu be my boyfriend but he's been a very good one. 

I loves him. My family loves him. My friends even love him. Hehh

Thank you my family and friends for accepting him because being accepted really makes thing wayy easier. Don't need to play underground love. wtf  

Here's a picture of us during our Hong Kong trip. And this is me emo-ing and he still forced me to selfie. hahahahh What a way to cheer someone up. NOT. 

Still thinking should I blog about my HK trip ... It was superrr mundane. :\ How ah?

kkk.

 I need to sleep ady. I promised too many people for not being a night owl. =X

Till then,

Thank you for reading my blog too. xx